52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: I Said I Would Never

26 Aug

In continuing on this 52 week journey with so many other bloggers, I hope you will visit the blog that started it all. From From Mrs. to Mama is a really fantastic site kept by an incredibly articulate young woman.

I said I would never….
I know many of us can relate. Before we are parents, we swear we will be different from our parents, we will be better than this or that, we will be more strict, less strict, more easy going, the lists go on and on.
For me, some of the things I said I would never do I do actually try to stick to. My life is a series of contradictions. I am painfully aware of that. However, for better or worse, this is my life.
One thing I said I would never do is force my child to eat something he does not like. However, he MUST first try a food before he can choose whether he likes it or not. He cannot just look at a new food or recipe and decide from its appearance that he does not like it. No. He must try at least three bites of the new food. Then, if he decides he truly does not like it, I will allow him to eat around it. This rule has kept him eating veggies, has allowed him to try new foods that I see other children turn their noses up at, and has carried over into life lessons- new activities, new people, new places, etc.
I said I would never force my child to believe the same as me. This is a HUGE issue and struggle for me. As a Christian, I want my son to become a Christian as well. However, most of my childhood I was forced into a belief set that both helped and hindered my spiritual growth, and ultimately caused huge rifts within my family. This is a struggle for me also because as a Christian, I believe it is my duty to minister to my child, to teach him of God’s love, grace, and mercy, to help him understand what sin it and how salvation affects us. The struggle is knowing where the line is drawn between teaching and coercing. My child KNOWS how I long for him to become a Christian. He knows how important that is to me. He also knows I will not force him and I will not stop loving him should he choose to (deep sigh) believe otherwise.((Wow, that is so hard to write… wow…))
I said I would never have children… Well… Obviously, I messed that one up! LOL Seriously, I never wanted my own children. From teen years on, I wanted to adopt. There are so many children out there in need of loving homes- from all over the world- but the Lord chose to surprise me and bless me with my Kiddo, my angel… I happily eat those words. 🙂
I said I would never lie to my child. It is relatively easy to be honest with friends and family as an adult. If you feel you can’t be completely honest about something (to spare feelings), you simply walk away, change the subject, whatever. (Don’t get all self-righteous on me claiming you ALWAYS tell the truth. You KNOW you have that one friend or family member, where you keep your true feelings hidden to spare their feelings.) However, when it comes to being honest to my child, as a parent I have found honesty is sometimes very hard. There are some questions I just cannot answer. I try to say exactly that, but sometimes there are situations where even a delaying answer is a form of a lie, a form of evasion. I hate to admit that I have lied to my child. I have a million and one justifications for those lies of ommission, white lies, or lies of evasion. Still- no matter how I slice it- I feel like a horrible mom.
I said I would never be like my Mom! HA! Don’t get me wrong, my Mom is who I give much credit as to the woman I am today. However, like we all can, I can look over my childhood and point out all the things- large and small- that my Mom did wrong. So when I said I would never be like my Mom, I meant I would not make those same mistakes. I was right. To a point. However, I make my own mistakes that I have no idea how to fix, and I am certain my Kiddo will look back on his childhood and say he will never be like me or DH. Then one day, like I am doing more and more often now as my Kiddo gets older, he will find himself saying something I would have said, or doing something the way his Daddy would have done it. Then, like I am realizing, he will realize that being like Mom and Dad is not so bad really.
I am sure there are other things I have said I would never do… That I have found myself doing anyway. Or maybe I have stuck to it, and have just realized how incredibly hard it is to stick to those things. One thing I am learning, no matter what I said in the past, its okay to be wrong, to admit it, and to change my mind. Life is too unpredictable, too chaotic sometimes. If I cannot change along the way, how will I ever be able to teach my Kiddo to roll with the punches?
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One Response to “52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: I Said I Would Never”

  1. Karen 28 August 2013 at 7:59 AM #

    This was so interesting! I think there are a lot of things we have said we would never do…and that's something we probably shouldn't say–lol 🙂

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