Gypsy Spirit Contained

23 Jan

A dream of mine has long been to live in the mountains. 

I remember a Youth Group trip I went on when I was in Middle School.  As we were driving through the Appalachian Mountains and I was awestruck by His handiwork, I got into a debate with a friend.  I had said in my exuberance that someday I would own a mountain.  My friend argued that I could not own a mountain. 

I laugh now.

Regardless of whether I ever own a mountain, I certainly never lost the desire to live in the mountains.  I picture a place far removed from “civilization” with its hustle and bustle, the rat race, the consumerism, and the politics that drive me batty.  However, this desire to settle in this mind’s eye picture perfect setting clashes completely with my personality.

You see, I am a gypsy at heart.  I cannot stand to be in one place for very long.  I want to move all the time.  When I was a child, we moved four times before I was eight years old.  Maybe that is how this urge to move set in.  However, once we got to our new home in Florida, my parents had found their “heaven on earth” and have been there ever since.  During the rest of my childhood there, up until I went to college, I was hungry for change.  I felt it so deeply that by the time I did leave, I had grown to really abhor the entire area.  To this day, even when I am visiting the pieces of my heart (my sister and her family) there, I cannot stand to stay for very long.  Even while I am there, my entire body longs to be leaving.

Once I moved away to college, I was able to enact the changes I longed for.  I moved within three dorms in three semesters.  Even that was not enough to make up for the years of staying in one place.  My room, if I didn’t have a roommate, changed on almost a monthly basis.  This carried on when I joined the Air Force.  My tech school rooms continually changed how they were set up (well, until regulations came down saying our rooms had to be set up a particular way.)  Even once I got to my first assignment.  I moved three times in three years, from one apartment to another, and then in with my hubby.  From there, I have slowed down quite a bit based on our assignments with military and because I can no longer just up and move.

Now, we have been assigned here for a four year tour.  This is the first time since moving away from home, that I have remained in one home for longer than a year.  Four years into this move, I am feeling that gypsy spirit start to revolt.  I long for the next move.  I long for it so much that my home is about to be turned upside down!  I keep planning rearranging the rooms.  I joked with my husband that one day he is going to come home and find the furniture nailed to the ceiling.

The itch to get to the next place is so strong. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I love the community we live in.  I love the base we are assigned to.  I love the city here, and the country surrounding it.  In general, if my heart wasn’t calling for the mountains, I would not mind staying here forever…..  So long as we could travel- alot! 

The military lifestyle has proven so good for my gypsy spirit.  However, now there are things that DH and I are having to face that could prove to change our lives in ways we were not expecting.  Certainly in ways we are not remotely prepared for.  Part of those changes could mean that we will be here much longer, maybe indefinitely.  This is incredibly frustrating for me because we have already been contemplating our next move.  My gypsy blood has been stirred, and is ready to purge, pack, and move on.

To consider staying … to say that my heart has deflated is an understatement.  So for now, I have to confine the gypsy in me, as I pray for His guidance, will, and patience as we see what we do from here. 

2 Responses to “Gypsy Spirit Contained”

  1. A God-blessed Woman 26 January 2013 at 11:48 PM #

    Thank you, David. I agree. The Lord does know best. A lesson He teaches me over and over and over again is to trust Him to know best. You would think, as often as I have seen His hand at work, I would have learned that by now! 🙂

  2. David C Brown 26 January 2013 at 9:22 PM #

    This is where the Lord posted you; He knows best!

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